Senior Living Resources

A Ministry of Love

An email arrives announcing that a resident of Kirby Pines has fallen or become ill. A request is made for prayers for the individual and his or her family. Eventually, another email arrives giving an update on the resident’s condition and location as well as a request for continued prayers and cards.

These emails go out from the email “tree” of Sydney Wagner to approximately 120 residents of Kirby Pines. Much of the information is given to Sydney by other residents; however, she follows up on information with personal visits or phone calls before sending out the updated information.

While honoring the privacy of the individual, Sydney believes “the more we know about each other, the more we will care and love each other”. She also believes the scripture that teaches, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much” (James 5:16). Her personal experiences in battling cancer 12 years ago and recently caring for her husband, Shelton during his terminal illness, have re-enforced with Sydney an awareness of the comfort brought to individuals and families when prayers are “showered” on them when they are needed most.

When did this ministry begin? While her mother was a six years resident of Applingwood Health Facility, Sydney and her sister wrote a monthly newsletter which was sent to all families and featured a write-up of a resident in each issue. While attending Highland Street Church of Christ, Sydney did a weekly newsletter for her Bible class and continued that at Germantown Church of Christ, until recently.

When Sydney and her husband Shelton moved to Kirby Pines in 2014, she had a desire to keep up with old and new friends and to learn more about them. So, she started sending messages to a few. Word spread and residents began requesting to be on her email list.
Sydney’s earlier life could be considered ideal and normal. She had a happy childhood, growing up on a farm with one brother and one sister. In addition to her parents and siblings, Sydney had a nanny whom she loved very much and was also fortunate to get to share a bedroom with her grandmother “who taught me everything I know”.

Sydney Juan Carmack was born in a hospital in Brownsville, Tennessee, on August 10, 1939. She was the first of three children born to Sidney and Juantena Carmack of Dry Hill, a community near Ripley, Tennessee. Her father was determined to name their first born for both parents. To his delight, the baby was a girl, but it was necessary to change the spelling of his name for her.

The little girl grew up and became an overachiever in Ripley High School. Sydney learned to play the trumpet, was a cheerleader for three years, and was co-editor of the school newspaper. To this day, she maintains contact with grammar and high school friends.

Following high school, Sydney attended Memphis School of Commerce, then worked six years for American Surety Company. But alas, she met the love of her life, Shelton Wagner. They were married on August 25, 1962. Almost two years later Wendy Leigh was born and 18 months later, Shelton Allen, Jr. completed their family. Shelton started his own business in drafting and this was continued for 40 years. During that time, Sydney supported the business by being the bookkeeper and courier.

In 1975, the family moved to East Memphis so it would be convenient for the children to attend Harding schools. The home was located in a cove and in Sydney’s opinion, they had “the best neighbors in the world”. There were frequent cove parties which added to their friendships. She recently was invited back to one of the parties and enjoyed seeing the small children, many now grown.

Throughout their marriage, Sydney and Shelton enjoyed traveling, seeing most of Europe, Canada and Mexico and all the states, except Hawaii. One of their three trips to Alaska was for two months with three other couples, traveling in two motor homes. The most fun they shared was taking each of their six grandchildren, at age 13, for a one week visit to a location of their choice in the U.S. Their choices were Alaska(2), New York City, Jackson Hole, Wyoming, Boston and the Grand Canyon.

Sydney believes that the second smartest thing she and Shelton ever did was to make the decision to move to Kirby Pines – the first was their accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior. She has made many wonderful new friends and gotten to know her old friends better. She enjoys the entertainment and all amenities provided at Kirby Pines. Her hobbies are reading, writing, photography, playing mahjong, and making her greeting cards to send out to others each month.

The “ministry of love” Sydney provides through her emails, newsletter and cards, her friendly and approachable personality make her an invaluable asset to our Kirby Pines family. Thank you, Sydney for keeping us informed about each other and for making Kirby Pines a more loving place.

Written by Joan Dodson, Kirby Pines Resident

Modesty with a Splash of Humor

A large section of the restaurant was filled with people awaiting the arrival of the “surprise” guest, Bob Shears. The occasion was the celebration of Bob’s 84th birthday, arranged by his step-daughter, Carol Turner. Carol’s devotion to her “step-dad” is obvious by such acts and by the frequent visits she makes to Kirby Pines to visit him.
Each year in June, fathers and grandfathers are honored on a special Sunday. Many men become step-fathers and are successful in being good role models for the children and grandchildren involved. Such is the case of Bob Shears.

At the age of 18, Bob married Charlene Winsett. She had a son whom Bob adopted. Bob and Charlene had one child who died at birth. They were married for 23 years until Charlene’s death.

In 1975, Bob married Sue Treadway and became the step-dad to Carol and her brother, Richard Treadway. Bob and Sue had 43 years together before Sue died from complications of dementia. Bob was Sue’s caregiver 24/7 as long as he could care for her. From his marriage to Sue, Bob has two grandchildren and five great-grandchildren who affectionately call him “Papa Bob”.
A native Memphian, Bob was the only child born to Elsie and Jack Shears. His parents divorced when Bob was quite young. Despite this, Bob says he had a happy childhood. He had a wonderful grandmother who was a great influence on his life. After Bob was grown, his mother Elsie married Franklin “Dutch” Schroer. Bob remains good friends with his step-dad who is now 95.

In 1952, Bob graduated from Humes High along with, soon to be famous, Elvis Presley. Bob and Elvis remained friends for many years. During high school and following graduation, Bob served in the U.S. Air Force Reserve for a total of eight years. During this time he attended the University of Tennessee and Memphis State University. His first job was auditor for a major department store. Because his job involved travel, Bob made the decision to enter the credit union industry.

In 1997, Bob retired with 28 years of executive experience in various credit unions in Memphis. Those credit unions were for International Harvester, First South Financial Federal (formerly the Navy Base), and The Commercial Appeal. In addition, Bob served as President of the Memphis Chapter of Credit Unions and President of the Tennessee Credit Union Society.

Bob moved to Kirby Pines in May, 2018. His step-father, “Dutch” Schroer, a member of the Discovery Club, had a great influence on Bob’s decision. Previously, Bob lived in a spacious lake-front home in Snow Lake Shores, Mississippi, an incorporated community with approximately 300 homes. When Bob and Sue retired in 1997, they were already living “the good life” there, on “the most beautiful lake in Northern Mississippi. Both Bob and Sue loved to travel and they traveled the world, seeing much of it from the 40 cruises they enjoyed. They were active members of Ashland Methodist Church. Bob continues there and serves as Chairman of Finance and also the Board of Trustees.

After living at Snow Lake Shores for 22 years, Bob decided his experience and leadership skills were needed to make Snow Lake Shores a better place so in 1997, he ran for Mayor and was elected. As Mayor, Bob established a police department and a court system. Through grants, he upgraded the voluntary fire department by having 50 fire hydrants installed as well as replacing the outdated water system. However, after four years, Bob decided to get out of politics but did remain on the Planning Committee.

Bob Shears loves dancing, card games (BEWARE, he is a card shark) and the occasional meal at Tunica with his step-father, Dutch. His love of dancing began at the age of seven when his mother who also loved dancing, took Bob to dances with her. His job was to dance with the ladies who had no partners. Since moving to Kirby Pines, Bob has been responsible for the revival of ballroom dancing. Due to his efforts, a larger group of residents are able to meet twice a week to learn and/or sharpen their dancing skills.

Bob says he enjoys living at Kirby Pines although he misses his former friends, pontoon boat, cat Charlie and all the outdoor activities he enjoyed at Snow Lake Shores. The things he enjoys most about living at Kirby Pines are the number of good friends he has made and the many activities available. “There is always something to do” says Bob. Certainly, he has quickly involved himself in the activities at Kirby. His friendly smile, gentlemanly manner, experience and willingness to help others have made him a “go-to” person. He is truly an asset to our Kirby Pines family.

Thanks to all who are fathers, grandfathers and step-fathers, for your influence and guidance and for making families complete. For those of us who had wonderful fathers, we are thankful for the memories.

Written by Joan Dodson, Resident