Sometimes in life, circumstances occur which lead to a seemingly providential conclusion. According to Parker, his marriage to Ruth was “arranged” due to the fact that their families were closely associated from the time of their births. Although contact with each other was sporadic in their youth, a reconnection as adults would unite them forever. In March of 2025, Ruth and Parker will celebrate 56 years of marriage.
The primary circumstance that would eventually bring Ruth and Parker together occurred when their parents met while attending an Evangelical Free Church in Jersey City, New Jersey. The families became very close, and when Ruth’s mother, who had enrolled in Nyack Missionary Institute, was having financial difficulty, Parker’s family helped to support her so that she could remain in school. This is their story:
Born in 1942, Ruth Nilsen (Knopp) describes herself as “double trouble” as she was both a preacher’s and missionary’s kid (PK/MK). Ruth and her parents lived in Holiday Cove, West Virginia, where her father was pastor of a church. The family later moved to Dearborn, Michigan, and while there, Ruth’s brother was born, and her parents were “called” to become missionaries to Columbia, South America. Unfortunately, Ruth’s father died of typhoid two and one-half years after their arrival in Columbia, but her mother remained there in missionary work for 28 years. However, Ruth’s family always returned to Teaneck, New Jersey, when her mother had a “leave” from her missionary work; that would always put Ruth and Parker’s families in close contact.
Ruth would call Columbia her home base from 1948 until 1960. The family lived in seven different parts of Columbia while Ruth lived there. To attend an appropriate school, it was necessary for Ruth to spend nine months of each year in a boarding school for missionary children in Quito, Ecuador. Except for the two weeks at Christmas, and the two and one-half months of summer break, Ecuador was her “home.” Because of limited communications during school, each student was expected to have a letter written to their parents every Sunday, or they would not be allowed to eat supper! Ruth had her 6th and 12th grades in the United States when her mother was on “leave” from her missionary work. Her 12th grade was in Teaneck, New Jersey, where the number of students was over 600. That was cultural shock as Ruth’s previous school had 12!
Following graduation from high school, Ruth remained in Teaneck and entered secretarial school while living with an aunt and cousins. During this time, she found part-time employment in a law firm and remained in the legal field for 13 years, eventually becoming the office manager.
Parker Nilsen was born in Jersey City, New Jersey, in 1941. He had an older brother and was later joined by a younger one. Parker and his brothers were First Generation Americans as their parents and grandparents came to America from Norway. When he was four years old, Parker’s family moved to Maywood, N.J., where he attended school through the ninth grade. It was necessary for him to ride public transportation through two towns to reach a school for the remaining high school years. Parker began work at 12 years of age as a stock clerk in a gift shop. “Because my family was lower middle class economically,” recalls Parker, “it was necessary for me to begin work two years before I could actually get work papers!”
The work and family examples were influential in molding a strong work ethic in Parker. His desire for a better life led him to enroll in Taylor University in Upland, Indiana. He arrived on campus and experienced cultural shock– coming from a metropolitan area near New York City to a small town surrounded by corn fields! Parker graduated in 1964 with degrees in Mathematics and Chemistry. He entered the Army military service and served three years in what Parker calls an “interesting assignment”–military intelligence. He was assigned to a field office in Karlsruhe, Germany, and served in civilian clothes the entire time.
March of 1969
Returning to Maywood after his military service, Parker and Ruth reconnected at a church activity. Ruth was still working for the law firm, and Parker took a position with SAFECO Insurance Company. The couple began dating in 1968, became engaged in three months, and married in March 1969. Four years later, their son, Thomas Allen, was born; three years later, their daughter, Kristin, joined them. Unfortunately, at the age of 25, Tom developed Ewings sarcoma and passed away after 17 months of treatment. Parker recalls, “Tom had a great faith, and from the time he received the diagnosis, he said, ‘I am in God’s hands –there is no better place to be.’ ’’ It was during this time that Ruth was diagnosed with breast cancer.
The Nilsens were living in St. Louis, Missouri, but after retirement, they wanted to be closer to their daughter, Kristin, and her family. They believed that their ministry was to help Kristin and their son-in-law, Alex. At Easter in 2022, they visited Kirby Pines and made the decision to move here. They babysit their granddaughter, Kayleigh, at least two days a week while Kristin works as a nurse at St Jude’s. They attend First Baptist Church in Collierville with Kristin’s family.
Ruth and Parker say, “We are thankful for our move to Kirby Pines as we have met a wonderful group of loving and caring people.”
Wellness Dimensions are how we as humans define our quality of life. The Wellness dimensions consist of emotional, spiritual, intellectual, physical, environmental, financial, occupational, and social. Each person defines their wellness differently. Ideally, a person should have a balance between all 8 dimensions.
How can Rehabilitation help you when you have an imbalance in your wellness dimensions?
Occupational therapists are trained on emotion, spiritual, intellectual, physical, environment, occupational, and social dimensions.
• Do you find that it is harder doing tasks in your home?
• Do you feel nervous when going to take a shower and worry about falling?
• Have you stopped participating in activities that you enjoy?
• Do you have a hard time reach high and low to grab things within your home?
• Do you find it difficult being around people?
Physical therapists are trained in physical, environmental, and occupational dimensions.
• Are you having difficulty moving around in your environment?
• Is it getting hard to get to the bathroom at speed that prevents incontinence?
• Do you have a hard time getting in and out of your car?
Speech therapists are trained in intellectual, occupational, and social dimensions.
• Do you find that you are not remembering things like you used to?
• Do you find it difficult at times to get your words out when with other people?
• Do you find that you are having a hard time swallowing and/or eating and drinking foods and liquids?
If you said yes to any of the questions asked in this article, or want to learn more about the Dimensions of Wellness, please contact the Broad River Rehab Team for guidance.
Practicing regular deep diaphragmatic or belly breathing has many health benefits, and is one of the hidden keys to optimum wellness. In fact, people who practice deep belly breathing as little as 10 minutes a day have a much less chance of developing cancer and heart disease, handle stress more effectively and generally have better overall health and well-being. Deep diaphragmatic breathing is one of the simplest yet most effective ways of improving one’s health with the least amount of cost and time investment.
To help you realize the importance of deep diaphragmatic breathing, here are 12 benefits to regularly practicing this healthy habit:
Reduces the risk factors for heart disease by lowering bad cholesterol (LDL), raising good cholesterol (HDL), lowering blood pressure and stabilizing blood sugars.
Cuts chances of cancer by as much as 400%.
Reduces negative stress by lowering the stress hormone cortisol.
Helps reduce cravings for processed carbohydrates (junk food).
Cuts chances of diabetes by strengthening the insulin beta receptor sites.
Improves quality of sleep by improving stage 1 and stage 4 sleep cycles.
Lengthens the cells’ life span by cleansing the cells more thoroughly through increase lymphatic flow.
Slows the aging process by increasing the secretion of human growth hormone (anti-
aging hormone).
Optimizes the immune system by strengthening T-cell formation and improving
Lymphocyte production.
Improves your mood by elevating the ”feel good” hormone, serotonin, and other
positive endorphins.
Improves mental focus and concentration by increasing blood flow to the
Pre-Frontal Cortex of the brain.
Improves the quality and effectiveness of meditation by changing brain wave activity from the more stressful beta wave activity to a more relaxing and healthier alpha and theta brain wavelengths.
Here’s how to reap the amazing benefits of deep diaphragmatic breathing: Sit in a comfortable chair with your eyes closed and inhale very slowly through your nose using your diaphragm (your belly should expand while you inhale with little or no chest movement). Once your lungs are full and your belly has expanded, hold your breath for about 6 to 12 seconds. Then slowly exhale through your mouth making sure you use your belly to push the air out. Once your lungs are empty and your belly is contracted, repeat the cycle. Your goal is to complete 10 cycles (inhale, hold, exhale) for 8 to 10 minutes of deep diaphragmatic breathing a day.
The best time to practice this type of deep breathing is first thing in the morning and right before you go to bed. To enhance the benefit of deep breathing. I suggest visualizing your goals or picturing your ideal life while practicing this habit. Personally, I pray while practicing deep diaphragmatic breathing.
For the next 30 days, take the challenge to practice deep breathing for at least 10 minutes a day every day. This is one of the best prescriptions for improving your health and optimizing your wellness.
It is great to get the snow and cold weather in our rearview mirror and looking down the road towards an early Spring!
February is Here! Valentine’s Day, Mardi Gras, and the Super Bowl all in one month! Every one of them will be celebrated right here at Kirby Pines. Please be sure to look over the calendar so you don’t miss your favorite activities coming up!
February means “Love is in the air.” Here is my favorite Kirby Pines “LOVES.”
I love working with all of my Staff! They are truly the most dedicated staff I have had the privilege to work with.
Next, I love “LAUGHING” with our Residents! They keep a smile on my face with their stories and comments. I love helping with the Marketing Events. It is exciting to see current Residents showing off their home with such pride to new prospects. And then, to see new prospects turn into new Residents.
I love feeling the “ENERGY” of all the various activities permeate the entire community.
To sum it all up… I LOVE KIRBY PINES!!
Michael J. Brown, Jr. ExecutiveDirector,Kirby Pines
The most important questions in life can never be answered by anyone except oneself.” – John Fowles, The Magus
OUR PILGRIMAGE: A NEW RACE
Author John Fowles
It poured rain the day I left. But I was filled with excitement, a strange exuberant sense of taking wing. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew what I needed. I needed a new land, a new race, a new language; and although I couldn’t have put it into words then, I needed a new mystery.
From the 1986 film, The Magus, starring Anthony Quinn, Michael Caine and Candice Bergen
These are the words of a young man named Nicholas in The Magus, a novel by John Fowles. Nicholas is starting out on what is to be a totally new life, and this is the expression of his feeling.
His words have become a kind of theme song for my spiritual pilgrimage. It burrowed its way into my soul not long ago when I had to make a vocational decision.
It happens. As Christians, we are not permanent residents. We are pilgrims. Paul made that clear to the Galations. They were arguing about doctrine and Christian practice. Paul spared no word: “Circumcision is nothing; uncircumcision is nothing; the only thing that counts is a new creation” (Ga.6:15 NEB).
Let’s claim it and live it more intentionally this new year.
Describe your family: Very close knit – loving and sports minded.
Describe yourself in five words: Caring, sincere and humorous at times.
What do you do for fun: Shopping, gardening in the summer & baking. Pets: 2 dogs, Max & Teddy.
Do you have any hobbies: I collect cookie jars, really enjoy baking & love the Pittsburgh Steelers!
What is your favorite thing about your job: Helping in different areas of the community & learning.
What is Your favorite food: love Italian.
What is your favorite song: Freebird by Lynyrd Skynyrd.
What is something you are proud of: My sons and step-children. All are college grads & doing well!
What would you like people to know about you:I enjoy being busy and helping others.
Aside from being the most dedicated and efficient Executive Assistant I have ever worked with, she has…Dedicated a huge amount of personal time and energy to updating and supplying the Gift Shop. Volunteers her personal time to volunteer for all special events. Acts as MOD. Her decision making skills are commensurate with a Director. She provides support to All Departments. She engages with Residents and families well. She has been able to defuse conflict between Residents. And she’s a great caring person!
While your life might look different now than it did when you were younger, it’s never too late to set goals and improve yourself. These new year’s resolutions for seniors will prove that you don’t ever have to settle for things the way they are. You still have the power to improve your life, your future, and yourself, no matter what stage of life you’re in.
1. Eat more nutritious foods. Your health matters now more than ever. Adding more nutrient-dense foods to your diet can help you feel better and have better energy.
2. Move joyfully. Find a method of movement or exercise you truly enjoy, and incorporate it into your daily habits. Physical activity is especially important for older people as it supports heart health, strengthens joints, and reduces the risk of injury from falls.
3. Learn something new. What have you always wanted to do, but never had the time for? A language, sport, or hobby? Learn it now! Set a goal to keep learning this year.
4. Make new friends, or spend more time with old ones. Feeling lonely and isolated actually has serious health concerns. Loneliness increases the risk of heart attack and stroke as much as smoking! So set a goal either to make new friends, or keep in regular contact with old ones.
5. Organize your life. If you need to create a will, organize your finances, clean out your closet, or coordinate your medical records, this is the year to do it! What can you organize this year that will make your life easier in the future?
6. Sleep better. Stop settling for low-quality sleep! Find solutions to sleep problems you might have, create a better nighttime routine, or talk to your doctor about insomnia or other concerns you might have about your sleep.
7. Stay creative. Find creative outlets for your mind this year. You can try a new form of art, like watercolor painting or sculpting, or take up an old hobby you haven’t visited in a while. Creativity is important for brain function, so prioritize being creative.
8. Preserve your life story. Your grandchildren and great-grandchildren want to know about your life, all of it, including the parts before they were born. Memorialize your life story in some way for your descendants to read or watch. You could scrapbook, compile photo albums, write a memoir, or record videos of yourself talking about your life.
9. Learn new technology. It can seem pointless or impossible to keep up with technology these days, but failing to do so means you’re missing out on ways to connect with the people who matter most to you. Try to learn and keep up with today’s tech, so you can continue to experience everything good the world has to offer.
10. Be more authentic. We sometimes spend most of our lives not having the hard conversations and not saying how we really feel about things. Now is the time to be truly honest with all those around you. Be your most authentic self. What do you have to lose?
Kirby Pines offers many options to help acheive your New Year’s goals. Whether it’s a new exercise class, dancing, playing cards, wood-working, cornhole, billiards, art class, volunteering, etc. or joining a club; book baggers, garden gro’ers, writer’s group, photo club and more, there are ways to meet new people, learn new things and enrich your life in 2025 – HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She was taken to Hollywood when she was five years old to audition for the movies. When told that “Shirley Temples were a dime a dozen,” she returned home but never lost her love of drama. Wherever she has lived, Jan Thomson has found ways to be involved in creative works.
Following her move to Kirby Pines in 2015, Jan became involved in creating “off-Broadway” productions for the entertainment of others. Originally, she and several friends took “shows” to the medical areas of Kirby Pines. Eventually, she combined her creative ideas with the music of the Entertainers Chorus. Together, they are known as “Theatre in the Pines.” Jan has written and produced three versions of Broadway shows as well as three large Christmas programs. Her scripts sometimes involve as many as 20-30 actors along with the chorus.
Marjorie Ann (Jan) Neely was born in a hospital in El Paso, Texas, in 1931. Her grandfather objected to her name, and it became Marjan and eventually Jan. Her family lived on a remote homestead ranch, along with other relatives, 87 miles from El Paso. According to Jan, Texas was still “wild and wooly” at that time, but life was good despite the depression the country was experiencing. “All of our supplies had to be transported over the 87 miles on a largely dirt road,” recalls Jan. “We had no electricity until 1945, and eventually one house acquired a telephone. But as children, we would grow up free and unsupervised.” School life was difficult after completion of the eighth grade in a one room school house. The nearest high school was in El Paso. One of the mothers on the ranch would rent an apartment in El Paso for Jan and her cousins to live in for them to attend school during the week. They would return to the ranch for week-ends and holidays.
During the war years, Jan’s father was in Navy intelligence, and the family moved often, requiring a frequent change of schools. When the war was over, the family was living in a small town in Georgia. Due to a re-alignment in that school from 11 to 12 grades, and having just moved there, Jan became the only 12th grade student. That was a lucky break as she was declared valedictorian and was awarded a scholarship to college!
Jan entered Bessie Tift College for women in Forsyth, Georgia, majoring in English as well as Speech and Drama. Midway during her junior year, she transferred to the University of Tennessee (UT) in Knoxville. On a Christmas break in 1951, Jan returned to El Paso to visit relatives. She was excited to be wearing an engagement ring she had just acquired from “Mr. Georgia.” A former high school friend intervened and introduced Jan to “Mr. Right.” According to Jan, “After four days, I was ‘sunk’ and decided to return the ring.” After returning to Knoxville, she and her new love, Dudley Thomson, had a long distance romance with only a few weekends together before their wedding. They were married in 1952 as soon as Jan graduated from UT.
The newly married couple’s first move was to New York for Dudley’s job on Wall Street. During their 47 years of marriage, they lived in 14 different cities due to Dudley’s auditing business. Jan and Dudley became parents to four children, Teri, Tim, Tobin, and Traci, all of whom have had successful lives and careers. The “Terrific T’s” have also blessed Jan with 12 grandchildren and 12 great grandchildren. Sadly, following a long illness, Dudley passed away in 1999.
While living in Nashville, Tennessee, and with all the children in school, Jan decided to re-enter college for a master’s degree in Library Science at George Peabody College, a part of Vanderbilt University. Finally, the last move was to Memphis in 1962. Jan became employed by the Memphis School System, teaching classes for 28 years; retiring in 1999. Since moving to Memphis, Jan has been a member of the Presbyterian Church. Currently, she is a member of Germantown Presbyterian.
Jan at age 4
Throughout all her moves, Jan has found a way to be involved in theater groups and organizing speech and drama with children and adults. In Memphis, she discovered church drama and has worked in that capacity for several years.
Following retirement and the death of Dudley, Jan began to think of finding a place to live before her children were required to care for her. “My friend Mary Blanch Scott lived at Kirby Pines,” recalls Jan. “I visited and found a wonderful library, theater for movies, hand work, bridge, entertainment, wonderful people and staff. I saw here a way to combine all the things I love.” Jan and her church friends who live at Kirby have a strong bond and are affectionally known as “the Presbyterian Ladies.”
The need to create seems to be embedded in the DNA of people, seemingly stronger in some more than others. When a creative surge is directed toward activities that will please or entertain others, it comes from the heart rather than a selfish endeavor. Such would describe Jan Thomson’s talent and creativity.
Mindfulness is the capacity to perceive our world clearly, without adulteration or manipulation.
Mindfulness: an active awareness of the present moment, acknowledging feeling, thoughts, and body sensations. Mindful activities can improve brain health, reduce anxiety, and improve overall wellbeing. Mindfulness has 3 elements intention, attention, and attitude.
Mindful Walking
Use all your senses to provide you information when walking. When we are able to slow our movements and become more aware of our environment we can reduce the likelihood of falls and injury.
What are you seeing as you walk. This could be uneven surface, bumps, thresholds, various items that have fallen or been dropped on the ground. Being aware of your surroundings can prevent slips, trips, and falls.
What do you hear when walking. Other people, machine equipment, animals, cars, etc. Often time sudden movements in our pathway may startle us and cause us to lose our balance, being aware of various sounds can help you prepare for incoming movements needed to stay safe.
What do you smell when you are walking. Is something burning, are fresh cookies being made, can you smell a rainstorm starting. Using our sense of smell can alert us to dangers when walking or lead us to a place where activities are being done at.
What do you feel when walking. Does your balance feel like its not the same, do you feel lightheaded or dizzy when you are walking, when you step can you feel your foot making contact with the ground. What you feel when walking, moving or changing position is called proprioception. This occurs when are sensory and motor neurons in the muscle, joints, and tendons are activated and provide as information on our movement. If our sensory system does not match the motor demands, we are at higher risk for falls.
Role of Therapy
Vision – occupational therapists can provide environmental modifications to help with low vision and reduce falls and help to retrain your eye movements to enhance your visual scanning abilities.
Proprioception – physical and occupational therapists can provide retraining of your sensory and motor systems to enhance your ability to stabilize and move within your environment.
Kirby Pines, a sister community of The Farms at Bailey Station, is part of the family of LifeCare Communities of Retirement Companies of America. For more information, visit retirementcompanies.com
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